Approach 16 – less than 5 min, GWU, elevator, indian girl waiting by elevator, asked about class and did some small talk Approach 17 – less than 5 min, GWU, near gym, asian girl, asked where to find sushi, Jdub says I need to banter Approach 18 – less than 5 min, GWU, near lisner, white lady on street, sushi, bantered and crossed street with her
I saw a lady walk past me, she wasn't cute...but I thought to my self what DJ Fuji had said.
"Are you here to get the girl, or the skill?" - DJ Fuji
I was there to get the skill, so I approached anyway. I called her from behind and asked her where I could find some sushi. I then bantered off of that and told her she would be my tour guide. She was speaking with an accent so I asked her where she was from and she said Texas. I told her it sounded French and she tells me she studied in France for her masters (haha I keep getting these French girls). So I speak the little French that I know and we cross the street. I go into my Pearl of Africa guessing game and end up telling some story about me traveling. We arrive close to the sushi place which was close to where she was going. I wasn't attracted to her so I didn't bother with the number close and just said bye...FAIL! I should number closed according to Jdub. I was there to get the skill not the girl. I should Always Be Closing. It's a skill I need to have on autopilot.
Approach 19 – less than 5 min, GWU, near Academic center, NY girl, sushi, need to work on my bantering Approach 20 – less than 5 min, GWU, behind medical school, white girl, need to work on bantering and being more playful Approach 21 – less than 5 min, GWU, white girl waiting to cross street, sushi, kept on talking about sushi, need to transition off that shit ASAP! Approach 22 – less than 5 min, Georgetown, white girl, sushi...nothing special...it's all a blur :p
Approach 23 – less than 5 min, Dupont Circle, bus stop, white girl dressed up walking w/starbucks in her hand, Stacy?
Jdub vetoed me to approach a cute girl all dressed up like she was going somewhere important. She crossed the street past us and I didn't approach. Jdub says I can't go against a veto and that I'm gonna approach her regardless so I better start walking faster towards her. I run after her and tap her on the shoulder and say "Excuse me...".
She gets startled and almost spills her coffee...she actually spilled some on my hand haha. Obviously this was a horrible start and I ask if she's alright and say I didn't mean to startle her. I come up with some BS and ask if her name is Stacy cuz she looked like this girl I used to date. She says no and I eject....that's why they have the 3 second rule. I should have approached her earlier when she was close to me rather than stalling. Approach 24 – less than 5 min, Dupont, Jdub vetoes me to approach a white girl w/glasses by crossway, horse girl, I didn't remember that shit and ejected super early...she said "Have a nice day" as I walked away??? The Fuck? I barely said anything special...was she attracted?? hmm....lol. Approach 25 – less than 5 min, Dupont, Jdub vetoes yet again to approach a girl who walks past us. I tell her I like her style and try to have a conversation as she's walking but she doesn't stop since I was talking behind her. Should have walked in front of her and opened or stopped her instead.
Analysis:
I need to work on the following things:
Bantering and being Playful. I take myself too seriously.
No stalling when told to approach
Practice number closing regardless of girl...Always Be Closing (ABC)
I did my social freedom exercises on Sunday at Dupont Circle. It was the first time I had done them all week, I've been busy with school (Supposed to be doing them twice week). Anyway I was taking a long time and tentatively doing the exercises until Jdub grabbed the sheet from me and took control of what I had to do.
I definitely did better with him just picking a random exercise and telling me to do it.
The hardest exercise for me was the dancing in public. After pussying out I eventually did it. Jdub told me to walk up to the fountain at Dupont Circle and just start dancing. There was a lot of build up when I walked up to the fountain. I tuned everyone out and just started dancing like nobody was there. I then noticed that nobody was giving a SHIT!!! Here I was dancing on the fuckin' fountain and nobody gave a shit, I didn't get any reactions from anybody. After doing that I felt a rush of adrenaline knowing it wasn't that big of a deal.
Jdub also suggested that there was little translation with the social freedom exercises in terms of my cold approach skills. Me going out everyday and doing the veto game will translate better he feels, which I actually agree with. My first direct group approach was from the veto game.
And I have a big announcement coming up that I will post real soon.
So I’m walking from class and I’m waiting to cross the street when the girl I opened from the school BBQ last time walks up to me on my left. She had her headphones on so I wave to her and she takes them off. She says something about how I still haven’t told her my name.
I figured it was about time, so I told her my actual name and we cross the street. As I’m crossing the street I get a good look at her body was surprised. This chic is pretty cute. At the BBQ I just noticed her big boobs but she was wearing shorts and I got to see her whole body. She’s a diamond in the rough, doesn’t dress cute or outlandish which is why I was surprised to see her with a cute body.
I then transition and talk about other things. I find out she’s an engineering grad student from Chicago, and is living between Foggy Bottom and Dupont Circle with a roommate. I made sure to figure out her logistics for later on. I was controlling the flow of the conversation the entire time and cut off bad threads whenever they popped up (frame control). I rambled about anything that came to mind to avoid any awkward silences.
As we’re talking we pass by the school cafeteria and I manage to steer the conversation towards food. I tell her Africans love chicken and ask her if she knows how to cook it. I tell her what Africans call good food (which I made up on the spot) and she banters back that it sounds more like southern food. The conversation had been playful and we had been bantering the entire time. I banter back about her not being a good cook, and she proceeds to say:
“Well I guess you won’t be coming over when we cook”
I was about to banter back with something else and then I stopped and thought to myself…this is a fuckin’ WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY. I wanted to jump on it and be like “Of course I’m coming over when you cook (cuz I’m trying to FUCK!)” but I hesitated because it would obviously show I was incongruent and bluffing with the conversation/banter we were having.
We then arrived to the engineering building where I had to go class. I thought about taking down her number so that I could text her when I’m done with lab so that I can come over for dinner…and try to fuck. But I hesitated on that as well. I thought it would be too aggressive to be talking to her and then ask for a number since we probably would see each other again. I then said bye to her, went to class with her walking back to her place…FUCK!!!!!
Can I get a mulligan! haha
Analysis:
I discussed this with Jdub and I blew it. This was a perfect window of opportunity to escalate the interaction and I missed it. I needed to bust through the window like the fuckin’ Kool-Aid man! Missing windows of opportunity is UNATTRACTIVE. It shows a lack of “social intuition”.
Jdub said women aren’t going to escalate on me; I have to take responsibility to make things happen. Women will give me opportunities to escalate the interaction further but it’s my sole responsibility to capitalize on them. Women don’t give windows of opportunities forever! Sometimes you’ll never get another window of opportunity. If I can’t pickup on a simple sign like her suggesting I come over her apartment when they cook, then how the hell would she expect me to pickup on the sign that she wants to fuck when she invites me over.
I also should have fucking taken down her number. No more bullshit about not wanting to be too aggressive. Who cares if I’m going to see her again next week or next class. I need to start taking numbers down…cuz I’m trying to fuck!
Good:
Frame Control – Steered and controlled the flow of the conversation towards things that would be conducive to the pickup
Created a Window of Opportunity through conversation
I went to a Happy HourMeetup in Adams Morgan at Saki. Went solo but ended up bumping into other PUAs from the lair forums, including one unexpectedly who was in the same set as me. It wasn’t until Magellan came over and I found out they both knew each other.
I also ended up winging Magellan when we went into a chode crystal of three guys that was surrounding a girl he wanted. I had to fuckin’ talk about business and startups with this chode for 20 minutes who lurked out of nowhere and was trying to interrupt Magellan. I must have done a good job. Cuz the guy ended up taking my email down and emailed me the next day lol.
Friday
Wings: solo, but met other PUAs (Magellan and Max Powers) at the happy hour
Approach 10 – less than 5 min, GWU, BBQ, grad student in line, are you cutting in line… then role played that I was Obama, talked with her friends who also happened to be people I knew and they went to a talk someone was giving which I didn’t feel like going to cuz I had work to do.
Approach 11 – more than 5 min, Adams Morgan, Saki Happy Hour, Asian woman (4 set), opened with hey, email close
I was talking to a guy at the bar, who later turned out to be a PUA known as Max Powers on the forums. This place was swarmed with PUAs lol, there must have seen over 5 there. As we were talking an Asian woman comes over and introduces herself. We all talk…blah blah...
As I’m talking to her I get into my Pearl of Africa game (I make people guess which country I’m from). She can’t figure out where I’m from and I don’t tell her. She later asks me again and I tell her. As we’re talking she tells me she works for the government and I jokingly say she works for “Obama”. I was doing this because I normally role play with people that I’m “Obama” and I saw it as an opportunity to do that.
She says “Let’s NOT talk about POLITICS”. Note to self…not all woman like Obama…might not make the best role pay… I was like shit…okay…don’t tell me twice so I changed the subject to what else but…traveling.
She tells me she worked in Ghana for a while and I was like, you don’t say! Haha. She worked for Rotary Club, which my dad happened to be a chapter president for in my country. She then tells all of us (three guys) that she has to leave early to go somewhere…okay. And she hands all of us her business card and leaves the happy hour.
I did find out that she’s new in DC, only been here two weeks and we have the Africa thing in common. So I’m gonna email her and see what comes of it.
Approach 12 – more than 5 min, Adams Morgan, Saki Happy Hour, Indian woman with chode (2 set), opened with hey, blew guy out, email close
As I’m wondering around the place I see an Indian woman talking to a white guy. I tell myself I need to do a shit load of approaches considering I’m behind on my 30 for the month. I go right up to both of them and say “Hey, I haven’t met you guys yet” and introduce myself.
I ask the guy where he’s from and he says some place I don’t remember or care about. I then ask the woman where she’s from and she says India. Bingo…I turn myself and face her, kind of boxing the guy out to where he’s now on the sides being a spectator. I tell her one of my good friends is from New Delhi and we get into a conversation about that. Dude was completely tooled and just stood there for 3 minutes saying nothing as I was showcasing my conversational repertoire (pretty much me just rambling about anything that comes up haha).
It was kinda sad for the guy, but it’s a DOG EAT DOG world out here. After talking for a while and figuring out she’s from London and talking about me living in the UK for a while. I turn to him…not to bring him in…nope, already learned that lesson from Mr. Diarrhea at the last happy hour. I face towards both of them to tell my “African Safari Story” which is pretty much me over exaggerating my family’s safari trip in the Serengeti where we almost got crushed by elephants. After the girl and guy saw “wow” over my story I then proceed to box the guy out by turning my shoulder towards the girl. Tooled again…haha. After standing there for a while again he walks away…I think that’s officially my first time BLOWING OUT someone haha.
I end up getting the Indian woman’s business card, I’m not fond of phone numbers as of now. They’re flaky and I still get anxious when it’s time to call so I’m gonna try email game for now.
Approach 13 – less than 5 min, Adams Morgan, Saki Happy Hour, black woman, a friend of the Indian girl, introduced by the Indian girl, email close
Approach 14 – less than 5 min, Adams Morgan, Saki Happy Hour, Haitian woman (2 set), hey
Approach 15 – less than 5 min, Adams Morgan, Saki Happy Hour, black woman by bar, where are you from?
Failure!
After doing all those approaches I saw a BAD ASS Asian lady (looked like a MILF, probably late 20s or early 30s) dressed all sexy by the rail near the bartalking to another Asian guy. At first I thought it was her BF b/c they were real close and talking in each other’s ear. After seeing her for a while I was like I need to make a fuckin’ move. So I moved within their vicinity. She was in the middle with two chodes on her sides. The guy on the left (who I thought was the BF) turned towards the bar and I opened him. I intended to use him as a way into the group.
Just said “Hey how’s it going” and rambled on. He wasn’t really engaged in the conversation but I just kept on rambling. As I’m rambling, I occasionally glance to my right cuz the Asian lady was now talking to the Asian guy on her right. Who I damn knew didn’t know her, cuz I had met the guy earlier. The only thing they had in common was that they were both Chinese. And there were talking in each other’s ear cuz it was so loud in there. It looked like they were a couple even though they weren’t cuz they were so close and kept brushing up on each other. There was so much incidental kino going on you would have thought the KINO CHARITY was around. I couldn’t stand it…that shit was actually turning me on, I wanted to be the one getting all that FREE and EASY KINO.
The place was packed so we all were real close. As I’m rambling and glancing towards Asian lady I would kind of bump into her when people where passing by. She kind of looked back to see who was bumping into her. Next thing you know, the chode I’m talking to starts to engage in the conversation. I purposefully start to inflict “AWKWARD SILENCES” with the hopes of having him go away but he now starts to do the “rambling”.
Motherfucker must have caught on that I was after the Asian lady every time I kept glancing at her and the other guy. Somebody passes by us and I get out of the way and I use that as a way to shuffle myself away from him and go towards the other Asian guy who was talking to the woman. I say “Hey how’s it going” to the guy since I already talked to him earlier. But it was so fuckin’ loud in there they obviously couldn’t hear me, you had to talk in people’s ears at this place.
Then another Asian guy comes out of nowhere lol. This was turning into the GREAT WALL of CHINA. I talk to him a little bit and a German guy I had met earlier comes near me. I introduce him to the Asian guy that just popped up and they talk. Okay, took care of that. I then walk away and looked around to see if they were any other PUAs around so that I could get a wing. But I couldn’t see any; Magellan and his crew had bailed an hour earlier.
After a while of I end up just bailing.FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKK!!!!!!!!
Fuck social anxiety! I can fuckin’ blowout a chode in set with an average woman (6-7) but I got anxious when it came to blowing out 2 chodes in front of a hot woman (she’s probably a 9, but close to a 10 for me since I have Yellow Fever :p).
On the way home I was fuckin’ PISSED at myself. I was hitting everything I could get my hands on and throwing my drink all over the place (I walked out w/my drink lol). I should have BLOWN THOSE TWO CHODES OUT!
Lesson Learned…REGRET IS A MOTHERFUCKER!
Analysis:
So I now officially have 15 approaches for the month, half way to 30. And I only have one and half weeks left till the month is over. Those meetup.com things are easy. Overall I did a good job approaching and everything was pretty easy and straight forward…until the Asian woman.
It then hit me that I could approach and blow out chodes in set with average women in that place. But when it came to approaching the REALLY HOT women (9s and 10s, they were only two in that place that I saw) in groups I couldn’t do it.
My social anxiety kicked in. Later on thinking about it, I should have just fuckin’ approached the girl directly. I could have been just walked up to her, put my arm on her shoulder and said “I really like your STYLE, it’s very elegant”. That would have gotten her attention since it was too loud to interrupt by just talking.
I also need to re-assess my Obama role play. This is the second time I get a girl tell me she doesn’t like Obama…and they were both Asian lol. Whats up with Asian chics not liking Obama?
Good:
Approached lots of sets, little CREATIVE AVOIDANCE
Conversational/Rambling skills where on point
Executed first BLOWOUT :p
Winged well for Magellan
Bad:
Didn’t APPROACH ASIAN LADY
Didn’t BLOWOUT GREAT WALL of CHINA...regret is a MOTHERFUCKER!
I’m so fuckin’ behind for my 30/30 club approaches this month. Before Thursday I had only done 8. Abysmal, considering I finished my 30 approaches in 2 weeks last month. Obviously with school starting my time has been limited compared to when my boss was on vacation during the summer. And most of the limited time when I go out I’ve been spending it on the social freedom exercises. I need to do better time management in order to get to 30 by the end of the month.
Thursday
I went to Pentagon City Mall with Jdub and A. Money to meet up with The Wolf Howls, another black guy from the lair forums. He does Mode One which was one the reasons I wanted to meet up with him. I’ve read about it and was curious about how he does it.
I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone to this day who is committed to getting a girl as him. After watching him do his approaches, I can affirmatively say that The Wolf Howls is one of, if not, the only person I’ve met that has ZERO APPROACH ANXIETY. If he decides that he likes a girl, he’ll approach her and go Mode One on her regardless of the situation. He hunts them down like a WOLF haha. At one point he told me to approach a woman in a fitting room...I just laughed it off as horrible timing.
As soon as I meet up with him we introduced each other and he sees a woman go down the elevator. He immediately says he’ll be right back and runs down the escalator and catches her coming out of the elevator to approach. This would happen all the time; he would disappear from our sights without us knowing.
He opens her very directly (hence the Mode One). I asked him what he tells women when he approaches and he said he normally says “Let’s get intimate” or “Let’s hook up”. Haha, I can’t make that shit up, that’s his opener.
I saw him approach a woman seated on a bench. After he was done and debriefed me he told me how it went down. He went mode one on her, she looked at him. And he looked back at her and they made eye contact for 15 seconds. She then said “Wow, you’re really forward…” or something and he ended up getting the number. But he said, a lot of them end up being flakes and still hasn’t gotten laid off of Mode one.
I’m not gonna be trying Mode One like The Wolf Howls, but I know it can be effective when the girl is ALREADY ATTRACTED. So I’ll leave it at that.
Anyway, back to me. I went to the mall with the intention of doing a shit load of approaches and like usual, CREATIVE AVOIDANCE set in. I only did ONE APPROACH, but the good thing is NO ONE PUSHED ME.
Approach 9 – less than 5 min, Pentagon City Mall, Asian lady walking by, horse girl, no…winged it
Jdub, A. Money and I were walking and talking about something. And I see an Asian lady (MILF??) walk past us. I say to myself…"I should approach”… and as am walking I make the COMMITMENT TO THE APPROACH. As soon as I did that, I walk up and catch up to her (she had passed us) and touch her on the shoulder. I then go into the horse girl opener. I was still nervous, and couldn’t remember words to the fuckin’ opener so I winged it and pretty much skipped right to the end…not good. She said no, and I ejected.
Analysis:
I can’t fuckin’ remember that shit. All these long openers (horse girl). I read it and I’m like ok, I’ve got it. And then I approach a hot girl and I can’t remember shit, it all goes out the window. But I’m not going to give up on it, I’ve been told to try stuff out 10-20 times before giving up or reaching an opinion on it. So I’ll do that for now.
Good:
Did horse girl without having anyone push me
Committed to the Approach
Bad:
Creative Avoidance
Are you there to get the girl, or the skill? I wasn’t on this day.
Having had a lot of anxiety from approaching at school, I decided to do my social freedom exercises at my school for the first time. Let’s just say I got my lowest score yet. I was solo again, so I couldn’t do the group exercises.
A. Money was in the foggy area so he texted me to meetup. At first he said he wanted to approach and when I pointed out girls for him to approach he got nervous. After a while he just abruptly says he has to go and bails out. I’m starting to question his commitment to improving his game. Before heading to a Meetup.com Happy Hour in Adams Morgan, I did my social freedom exercises again (in Adams Morgan). Results are below.
It’s been hard doing the exercises solo…I need to get a wing here at school…quick. I would prefer someone already in the community but it looks like I’m gonna have to take someone under my wings and introduce him to the game.
I talked to Aqua, and him and Color are doing well at George Mason cuz they have each other to help them out whenever they get down. Right now the closest wings I have in the area are Jdub and A. Money but they go to different schools. I need to find someone to game GW with. I knew two people on the forums that go to GW as well but they don’t seem dedicated. One is a stoner, and the other “always” has something to do whenever I invite him out and doesn’t do day game.
I’ve got to do something, I’m going to bring someone into the MATRIX.
I did the social freedom exercises last week and I didn't do as well as I wanted. I've actually been doing worse.
Last Friday (2 weeks ago)
I went to Chinatown and did the exercises with Miracle before going to Jazz in the Gardens. Miracle showed up feeling bad and proceeded to drink a whole bottle of wine. Let's just say doing the exercises with him while he was drunk ended up being a burden. We were barely able to do half of them.
Previous score: 112 Friday's score: 67 (-45) Best score: 112
Tuesday
I went to AU to do my exercises and I was joined by A Money...for a while. I could tell he didn't really feel comfortable with me doing the exercises with him by my side. He obviously didn't want to suffer any social repercussions to his social value (he goes to AU) so he bailed out. I don't blame him...that's why I was doing the exercises at his school, not mine hehe. So I ended up doing the exercises by myself, which made them even harder for me. I obviously wasn't able to do any of the exercises that were supposed to be done on groups of people I know, which made the score low.
Previous score: 67 Tuesday's score: 103 (+36) Best score: 112
Friday
I went to Arlington, VA (Rosslyn area) for a lair workshop done by DJ Fuji. I did the social freedom exercises before going, and I was by myself again. I did worse this time and again, not having anyone to do them with me hurt my score since I couldn't do the other exercises.
Previous score: 103 Friday's score: 66(-37) Best score: 112
Analysis:
Obviously not having someone to do the exercises with me is hurting me. I'm supposed to have a wing with me for some of the exercises. In addition, they also help push me to go past my comfort zone. This is why I did really well (did almost all the exercises) last time when I was with Jdub. Jdub pushes me more than any other wing and he doesn't accept any of my bullshit. I actually respond better to this, maybe because that's the way my African parents raised me haha.
This was a slow and busy week as well, but I made a huge improvement.
Approach 4 – less than 5 min, foggy bottom starbucks, 2 girls waiting in line, asked where to find pancakes, first cold approach at school this semester…had to start somewhere
Approach 5 – less than 5 min, AU yard, 2 girls walking, asked where to find sushi, went no where….Jdub and I talked about how horrible it was and the convo went something like this…
Jdub: Have you tried horse girl (One of Brad P’s Shocker Openers) Me: I’ve wanted to try it but I haven’t had the BALLS to do it
Jdub: Stop being a PUSSY! Sorry to say, but you need to grow some fuckin’ BALLS. They’re people who’ve gone to wars where they fought and died. This falls nothing in comparison. You’re just going up to them and asking a fuckin’ question…stop being a pussy…
The mission of the day then switched to getting me to finally do the “Weird Horse Girl” opener.
Approach 6 – less than 5 min, AU yard, black girl walking, horse girl, nervous and confrontational body language, smiled too much, first horse girl ever!
I saw a black girl walking towards us so I opened with horse girl. I read this opener a while ago, but I didn’t remember how to deliver it b/c I had written it off b/c I couldn’t do it. So I pretty much just winged it. The girl said she wasn’t the weird horse girl, but she smiled. Nothing bad happened. I debriefed with Jdub and he told me I had nervous and confrontational body language, and had a “cheesy smile” plastered on my face the whole time.
Approach 7 – less than 5 min, outside wholefoods at AU, white girl walking, horse girl, she kept on walking…she probably thought I was one of those people passing out flyers or trying to sell something
Approach 8 – less than 5 min, outside wholefoods at AU, asian girl across the street, teddy bear girl, first teddy bear girl, was pretty good
I was determined to do another shocker opener before we left AU, but I was still nervous. Jdub pointed out an asian girl walking behind us and told me to approach. I let her walk past us and didn’t approach. She crosses the street and stands by the bus stop. Jdub talks to me to either start walking towards her or we leave with me feeling regret. I man up and cross the street and walk up to her.
I did the Teddy Bear Girl opener. Which is a custom shocker opener, similar to horse girl but about a teddy bear instead and it’s customized for me. I had to come up with it in Month 2 of the 30/30 club but I had never used it haha. So I used it on her, I still didn’t remember most of it so I just winged it and improvised while making stuff up.
I asked her if she liked teddy bears and she said yes. I told some story about knowing this girl from grade school who loved teddy bears…blah blah blah. She smiled and laughed when I told her she resembled the weird teddy bear girl. She didn’t deny it, but her English wasn’t good. After getting the good reaction, I told her I had to go and ejected. I met up with Jdub and he told me “RESPECT” for doing the approach.
Analysis:
Wow…I can’t believe it took me this long to actually do a shocker opener. All I needed was someone to push me. It seems I respond better when being called out on my shit. Jdub calling me a pussy and showing me how fuckin’ simple it was compared to what other people have to deal with helped out. I told Jdub not to hesitate calling me a pussy again when I pussy out of shit.
After doing the horse girl, I realized how fuckin’ simple it was. Not only was it so fuckin’ simple, but it actually engaged girls. As soon as I asked them whether they liked horses or teddy bears, they got curious and where listening to every word of my story. This shit was pretty powerful, compared to other indirect openers I’ve been using. Now that I’ve tried this out, I’m strictly going to be using this opener (outside school lol) until I get more comfortable with it. I’ve been told this opener is really powerful, and now I know what everyone was talking about.
Good:
Finally did Shocker Openers
Bad:
Took too long to try out Shocker Openers
Nervous and confrontational body language when approaching
Cheesy smile plastered to my face when approaching
This is the video from the AFC Adam presentation from last month. SmoothVirus and Faz did a great job of filming and sharing with the entire forum.
Nutz did a great summary of the talk
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About 40 guys showed up and Adam talked for about 2 hours and didn't try to sell us anything once. The purpose of his talk was on closing. Everybody opens now, but nobody is fucking the women they open regularly so that's what he focused on. Key points are:
1. Logistics! Logistics! Logistics!
"Preparation meeting opportunity"
If you don't have logistics you're not getting the girl. It's as simple as that. This was actually a big push of mine and others within the lair the last year or so when we have our own workshops, so it was nice to hear that being pushed by a "pro". Here are some examples:
Set up your house so it escalates for you. When you bring a girl home it should be well lit. When you move her to the next room it should be a little darker. When you move her to the room after that it should be even more darker, and so on. When you put on your music make sure it's a playlist or mix CD. Make sure it's named something innocuous of course, chicks tend to nice think like "Sex music". The tunes should start at a high energy like something you can dance to. Over 30-60 minutes it should progress to smooth music you can bang to.
2. Lead
It's the man's job to overcome a woman's objections. Women of quality won't make it easy. They're going to put up a barrier you have to overcome and that's it. Your job is to lead her over that barrier.
The main way of handling objections is simply having a good reason. however, they don't have to be real or logical. "I make the best pancakes on earth. You have got to try them! Best pancake. On earth." He's made pancakes 5 times in his life and it was never for chicks. The point is that you're giving women plausible deniability to herself and to her friends when they ask later on what happened. You're taking responsibility and leading her.
Another method he taught us is to disqualify the objection before it happens. For example, "There's a dark ally between the club and my house, and I'm convinced werewolves live there. You have to hold me tight and protect me when we walk through it." It's just a simple example of an exaggerating disqualifier so when she sees the dark ally she doesn't freak out. You can also qualify her in a sense while disqualifying the dark ally by saying "I hope you're not afraid of the dark. There's a dark ally we'll have to walk through. Will you need a night light?" Just be comical about it and that disqualifies the ally beforehand as an objection.
Take responsibility for what's occurring. If you get LMR a solid way he described of dealing with it is to just placate their fears. Talk them through it and lead them. His stock phrase is "Don't worry about it, everything will be okay." You might have to say it a bunch of times to lead them past all their insecurities and hesitation.
3. Rule of the bra
You can have a girl in your bed all butt naked, but if she has her bra and panties on she can rationalize to herself that nothing is going to happen. It isn't until the bra comes off that it's real to them for some reason. Chalk this one up to chick logic. Additionally he says that the community is lied to in that we say women know if they're going to sleep with us within the first 30 seconds or something like that. What really happens is they know if they *won't* sleep with you within that first 30 seconds or whatever that time frame is. They don't know definitively that they're going to sleep with you until that bra comes off. This is why some chicks you bang may insist it stays on (experienced this at least twice I can remember myself). It's like a security blanket or something.
The last thing he left us with was a message you can send the day you have a day 2 scheduled to see if she's going to flake:
"Just so you know I'll be 5 minutes late. Is that okay?"
If they're going to flake they'll use this as an excuse to ditch ahead of time. If they're not they'll say it's fine. I will add in something else one of Adam's friends, Phenix, said a few months ago when he was in town to help cut down on flakes:
"I have some errands to run. Text me when you're on your way."
If they don't text and show up, but you're off doing other things then remind them they were supposed to text you. Their bad, not yours. If they don't text you and flake then no worries because you're off already doing whatever anyways. It's just a solid way of keeping your logistics clear.
Oh, and someone asked where they see the community going in the coming years. His perspective is that the community will split. Some guys will stay with the PUA moniker and be gamey using routines and gambits, while others will make a perception shift and go even further mainstream as "dating coaches". The guys who go the latter route eventually won't even resemble the PUA guys in their methods and practice, despite the underlying foundations and principles having much in common.
One last little nugget that he brought up was basically how to frame their objections. One way to frame an objection is as something that you need to neutralize or work around. The better way to think of it is as her giving you the information you need to seduce her. Basically, she has a checklist in her mind of things you need to do. When she makes an objection, what she's actually saying is that you haven't fulfilled some criteria yet. For example, if her objection is that she can't go home with you because she hardly knows you, she's telling you to spend more time getting to know her. You're response should be "god, you're right, we hardly know each other. Tell me more about blah blah blah."
Don't think of it as her trying to hold you back, think of it as her telling you what the next step needs to be.
Last week was a busy and not so busy first week of school for me. I went out every single day.
Approach 1 – less than 5 min, UMD, stamp center, girl w/big tits walking, went direct, was in a rush
I approached this girl immediately after I was done with my social freedom exercises, which had warmed me up a little bit. She said thanks and said she had to go to class. I need to start using my spin move again to get girls to stop.
Approach 2 – less than 5 min, UMD, jason’s deli, girl w/big tits parking motor cycle, went direct, she was interested but I prematurely ejected
I was about to leave for the Wingman 2.0 workshop, but Jdub insisted I do one more direct approach for him before he left. He then read me this quote from his blackberry to help me out with the AA I was having.
"It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by the dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions and spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who, at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly; so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat." - Teddy Roosevelt
The last thing I wanted to do was be with those cold and timid souls that don’t know victory or defeat. As soon as he was done reading the quote, a girl drives up in her motor cycle and parks in the parking spot. I think about approaching her (hesitation) and then go in and gently touch her on the side.
Me: Excuse me…I know this is completely random…but I think the way you drove in riding that motor cycle was extremely sexy…I just had to come over and talk to you (I don’t remember exactly what I said, but it was something like that)
Her: Thanks…blah blah Me: So what’s your name?
Her: I’m Lindsey, I play lacrosse here Me: Cool, said something about me playing soccer and their similarities
I then ejected!!! I was still in an anxious state when I was talking to her and it’s like my body wanted to get out of the anxious state so it just ejected.
But I learned a HUGE LESSON! After ejecting I went to the workshop and it wasn’t until on my way home that it all made sense. That girl was CHOOSING UP on me (interested). When I’ve been approaching girls directly I’ve been expecting them to miraculously drop their panties because I had the balls to approach them directly. That’s not how it works I’ve figured out.
If a girl is interested in you, she won’t really give you any major IOIs since she’s surprised and shocked at what you just did. So I can’t expect them to reciprocate and be like“I think you’re really sexy your self…”.
Instead what they do is they help you “transition” and give you conversational threads to talk about. For instance, when I asked this girl for her name, she told me her name and then randomly said “I play lacrosse”. I didn’t know why the hell she told me that, but I figured out why later on. She was interested in me as well, so she was trying to transition the conversation. And I also think she was trying to DHV for me haha.
The big lesson learned is that when I go direct, and the girl transitions the conversation and stays there. She’s fucking INTERESTED! I can either go for the quick number close or quick pull.
Approach 3 – less than 5 min, Georgetown, woman waiting to cross the street, direct, she ejected early
I saw this hot woman about to cross the street. I thought about approaching but she looked a little old for me (looked in her late 20’s). Jdub told me to go and I went in. As soon as I said “Excuse me, I know this is completely random…” she ejected like she knew what was going to come next. Looks like she gets approached all the time. But who cares… at least I can say “I was in the Arena!”
Analysis:
This whole week I did not do any approaches at school. For some reason I’ve been having super AA when it comes to cold approaching at school as I mentioned in one of my previous posts. I still want to cold approach at my school, cause quite frankly, the girls are too beautiful not to. Walking around and not approaching is literally giving me blue balls.
I think one of the reasons I’ve been finding it difficult has been because I’ve been focusing on too many sticking points. I read some where that whenever you have AA, it’s usually from having too many sticking points.
My current sticking points are:
Solo Sarging – It’s always much more difficult for me when I’m by myself
Direct Approach Anxiety – I have super AA when it comes to going direct
Social Anxiety – I worry to much about what other people think of me
So me gaming at school combined all these SPs: me sarging by my self on campus, trying to go direct, and being concerned about what people at my school will think, especially those that know me when they see me hitting on girls.
Solution: The solution when it comes to taking care of SPs I’ve been told, is to take care of one SP at a time. So I’ll take care of the solo sarging first. I’ve decided I’ll be doing predominately indirect game for this coming week. In other words, the FOOD OPENER IS BACK! :-)
This will get me to approach around campus regardless without over thinking anything. Once I’ve done that for a while I’ll be more comfortable cold approaching at campus. In addition, all the things I’ve learned from going direct and situational for the past couple of weeks will translate into getting me over the problems I was having with the food opener.
I’ll also be doing Brad P’s social freedom exercises for the third SP. And once I’m comfortable, I’ll start going direct. Pretty much it comes down to taking baby steps. I have to first be able to crawl, before I can walk, jog or run. I’ll be taking it one step at a time.
Good:
Went strictly direct this whole week
Went out each day of the week…FIELD EXPERIENCE!
Bad:
Spin move – Need to get girls on the street to stop and commit more
Prematurely ejected – Need to follow Gunwitch’s principle and “Make the HO say NO!
Not approaching at school – Need to take baby steps until I’m comfortable with it
The month I’ve long been waiting for is finally here. Month 4 of the 30/30 club is on social freedom. This whole month we’ll strictly be focused on reducing and killing my social anxiety (AA is a part of this). Social anxiety is when you care too much about what other people think of you, and it makes you “police” your thoughts.
I’m going to be doing a set of 18 exercises twice a week, for the entire month. These exercises are supposed to push me past my comfort zone to a point where I no longer care what people think of me and I can be free to be myself. The first time I do these exercises, I’m not supposed to push myself that hard. The first time is just for quantifying a baseline of where my level of social freedom is right now.
I went to the University of Maryland (College Park) for a workshop on winging. I arrived their early so I could do the exercises with Jdub pushing me, and here are the results. I’m supposed to rate my comfort level on a scale of 0-10 with each exercise, with 10 being comfortable and 0 being so uncomfortable that I couldn’t do it. I’m supposed to keep on doing them until I no longer see any improvements in my scores for each exercise.
Exercise 1 - Eye Contact
Make eye contact with 3 people. Hold it as long as possible. My comfort level: 10
Exercise 2 - Got the time?
Ask a stranger what time it is. My comfort level: 10
Exercise 3-Directions
Ask a stranger for directions. My comfort level: 10
Exercise 4 - Small Talk
Ask for directions and then make small talk for 30 seconds. My comfort level: 10
Exercise 5 - Store Clerk
Small talk with a store clerk for 2 minutes. My comfort level: 3
Exercise 6 - Rapport Seeker
Try to last 5 minutes in a conversation with a rapport seeker (homeless guy, charity collector, comedy flyer guy) without giving in to their demands. My comfort level: 6
NOTE: Wasn’t able to find one so I put down what I thought my comfort level would be if I did get to talk to one.
Exercise 7 - Small Talk 2
Small talk with a store clerk even after the next customer is getting rung up. My comfort level: 6
Exercise 8 - Tell a Joke
Tell a joke in front of a safe group (someone you know). My comfort level: 9
Exercise 9 - Dancing
Dance a little bit in a public place. Not too much. Just bounce a little or snap your fingers. My comfort level: 4
Exercise 10 - Walk and sing
Walk down the street while singing or rapping. There are already a lot of people who do this. Maybe you've seen them. My comfort level: 3
Exercise 11 - Make that guy laugh
Walk up to a stranger and start a conversation. You must make the stranger laugh. You can't leave the conversation until you make him laugh. My comfort level: 8
Exercise 12 - Butting In
Walk up to a group or people you don't know. Listen in on their conversation for a short time. Then as soon as possible butt in and start talking to them as if you've been in the conversation the whole time. My comfort level: 4
Exercise 13 - Dancing 2
Dance full out on the street or in a public place. My comfort level: 2
Exercise 14 - Embarrassing Memory
Recall an embarrassing moment in front of a safe group-laugh at yourself. My comfort level: 8
Exercise 15 - Embarrassing Memory 2
Recall an embarrassing moment in a 1 on 1 conversation with a stranger. My comfort level: 7
Exercise 16 - Random Joke
Tell a joke in front of a group of strangers in a completely random place (the train. a store). My comfort level: 4
Exercise 17-Moonwalk
Moonwalk in a circle around a group of strangers. My comfort level: 2
Exercise 18-Telling Secrets
Tell a deep dark secret to a stranger. My comfort level: 6
Total score: 112 Total score w/o the rapport seeker assumption: 106
Analysis:
Wow! I was surprised that I was able to finish all the exercises (minus the rapport seeker). Before doing the exercises, I thought some of the exercises like number 18, moon walking around a group of people, were beyond my level. I seriously thought there was no way I would be able to do that.
But Jdub was able to push me to do it when he told me that I would never see these people again, so I should stop thinking and just do it!
I can already feel an increased level of confidence and a decrease in my social anxiety at school. After the exercises, I’m policing my thoughts less and less, and I’m doing most of the things that first come to mind more often.
After finishing month 3 of the 30/30 club, here are my baseline improvements.
The baseline are the month 2 approaches and all other months will be compared to this month. Month 2 was me just approaching without making any changes. We then proceed to make changes each month. This way I can tell whether or not the changes we make each month are helping or hurting my baseline.
Month 2: Did 30 Approaches
Total Blowouts: 0/0 = 0% Total Conversations lasting less than 5 minutes: 28/30 = 93.33% Total Conversations lasting more than 5 minutes: 2/30 = 6.67% Total Phone numbers or emails: 1/30 = 3.33%
Month 3: Did 47 Approaches
Total Blowouts: 1/47 = 2.13%(+2.13%) Total Conversations lasting less than 5 minutes: 38/47 = 80.85%(-12.48%) Total Conversations lasting more than 5 minutes: 9/47 = 19.15%(+12.48%) Total Phone numbers or emails: 6/47 = 12.77%(+9.44%)
Analysis:
I made a huge improvement from month 2. I increased my blowouts, which is a good thing because I'm taking more risks. Conversations lasting less than 5 minutes is down, and last more than 5 minutes is up by the same percentage points ironically. And phone number closes is up as well.
I think the reason I saw the huge improvement was that I changed environments (going to AU) and stopped relying on the food opener. This lead me to try out other things, such as situational openers, which I'm growing fond of.
I learned a valuable new lesson today. Although I’ve been told a lot about this, I can agree now that I actually have some game.
Monday was my first day of school and I had mad AA or social anxiety as Brad P would call it. School by far has more hot women than anywhere else in DC during the summer. But I found it hard to approach, because I know a lot of people here and the whole added element of social repercussions was on my mind.
I ended up doing one dismal approach with Jdub watching. This is was my last approach for August, month 3 of the 30/30 club. That’s 47 approaches for the month.
Approach 47 – less than 5 min, foggy bottom metro, girl jogging, where to find good sushi restaurant
Got into a conversation but kept on talking about the food and didn’t bother with anything else. I just wanted to open and didn’t care what happened after that. It’s been a while, almost 2-3 weeks since I used the food opener. Didn’t remember my contingencies and follow up that I’m used to doing.
Analysis:
After today I’m coming to think that cold approaching at school needs to be toned down in order for it to work effectively. I can’t be aggressive as I could at other places, since there’s a chance I might see the girls again….and again…and again.
I actually think situational is the way to go. It worked for me at AU, and it appears natural. If direct is going to work for me, I think it will be under two conditions:
The girl is interested and gives me IOIs before approaching. For example I remember at AU while walking I saw a cute Asian girl and locked eye contact with her. She kept on starring as we passed each other and gave me a nice big smile full of energy. I knew she was definitely choosing, and tried to go back to get her but she was in line getting her food. I think scenarios like this I can aggressively cold approach (going direct) since I already know she’s interested.
Giving a girl a compliment and seeing her receptivity to being engaged in a conversation. This is something else I’ve seen work. I give a girl a compliment and follow up with an explanation, such as “I love your style, it’s cute and sexy without trying too hard”. And if she’s interested in me at all she’ll stop and move her body language towards me showing receptivity for me to engage her into a conversation. Basically this is like a watered down direct approach. I throw compliments at the girl and see if they stick. If they do, then I proceed to game.
